Damn bank account joke and others hope u like.?

A crusty looking old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."


To which the astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"


"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"


"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."


With that the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. The both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"


"There's no damn problem", the man says, "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"


"I see", says the manager, "and this ***** is giving you a hard time?"














Word Perfect Helpline





This is a apparently true story form the Word Perfect Helpline:-


Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is apparently suing the Word Perfect Organisation for :Termination without cause!!





(o=helpdesk operator; c=client)


o: Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?


c: Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Wordperfect


o: What sort of trouble?


c: Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words just went away.


o: Went away?


c: They disappeared.


o: Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?


c: Nothing


o: Nothing?


c: Its blank, and it won’t accept anything when I type.


o: Are you still in wordperfect or did you get out?


c: How do I tell


o: Can you see the C prompt on the screen?


c: What is a sea-prompt?


o: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?


c: There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.


o: Does your monitor have a power indicator?


c: What is a monitor?


o: The thing with the screen on that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?


c: I don’t know


o: Well, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it, can you see that?


c: Yes I think so


o: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.


c: ..........Yes it is


o: When you were behind the monitor did you notice there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?


c: No


o: Well, there are. I need you to look back there agaian and find the other cable


c: ..........Okay here it is


o: Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.


c: I cant reach


o: Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?


c: No


o: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?


c: Oh its not because I dont have the rihgt angle - its because its dark


o: Dark?


c: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window


o: Well turn the office light on then


c: I can’t


o: No? Why not?


c: Because there is a power outage


o: A power ... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.


Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?


c: Well, yes. I keep them in the closet


o: Good. Go get them, unplug your machine and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from


c: Really, is it that bad


o: Yes, Im afraid it is


c: Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?


o: Tell them you are too ****ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!!!!

Damn bank account joke and others hope u like.?
thanx so much u lightened up my day
Reply:That was a damn good joke !
Reply:lol
Reply:ROFLMFAO ROFLMFAO ROFLMFAO THAT IS THE FUNNIEST **** IVE READ IN ABOUT 3 YEARS ........................................... YOU GET A STAR
Reply:HAHA funny funny funny
Reply:Thanks so much for the morning laugh, I needed it!


:)